And i was nauseous and with luggage and i told him "mom will not want me back", he yelled at me "stop with that "they won't want me", it's insulting". And just left me with my luggage. I couldn't even ask about my new laptop (from my grandparents not him). Hurts so much. Ik i should get a job but there's no job for psychologists in my city, i searched. He said that i will forget everything if i don't work. But there's litterary no job. I planned on working at a shop or in the mall but it won't be enough to hire a place. Ik im supposed to leave but it hurts. Right after my ex hurted me. I got nauseous and he just yelled at me and left me. He said he needs money for sis' driving lessons. It's not my fault he got 3 children. I was the first one. I want a job too but he broke me. Did i make him have another child that broke me and costs him money? Plus he acts like he doesn't know mom - that she's treating me this way, that she's broke, that she also expects me to leave but won't kick me out like him. He said it's insulting to talk about mom like that. I said im talking about her, he left her, not him. The whole scene is deeply traumatic. We were talking about it in the car. We got back, we got my stuff( he made me pack a lot so moving out starts) and i was nauseous so i asked for help. He carried some stuff a few steps and we talk this, yells at me to not say mom won't want me home and leaves saying he can't see the car and needs to gi back. My meds, clothes, and laptop are at his. I got only the emergency stuff for tonight that i could carry nauseous. He broke me. How can i work? I browsed all jobs in my city - no single one for psychologists. In my university city there are several but i don't think i can manage. My therapist said "imagine you have a job here, no boss would let you go home because you're feeling sick"
Edit : no even"proud of you! Happy graduation! You did it despite the damage i and your ex dealt to you".
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Against_the_current
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If you can't work and earn money would you be able to access any benefits? I don't know if there are any where you are though.
It would stop you relying on your father as I am know he has other commitments too...and you are 23. He has to concentrate on younger family members who aren't old enough to leave home and earn money. He knows they are dependent on him even more.
I'm more unable to leave home than the baby. Also who made him have a baby if he couldn't afford it? ....My dumb previous roommates kicking me out so i got expensive rent and small place
The baby and his younger children still have to take priority. You appear to think you should?
Your father is a free agent and can do what he wants. I am sure he didn't have a baby just to spite you. As an adult he has his own life to live as do you.
Your parents can't go on supporting you indefinitely you know unless they are rich and want to. What age do you expect them to? 30? 40? Eventually you will either have to take charge of your own life and look after yourself. If you can't then look for places other than your parents where you can be cared for.
There is no other option I'm afraid. However if you take this choice others will be able to make decisions for you if that's what you want? Or need? Whether you approve of them or not.
Not trying to be dismissive and I know how hard it is when suffering mental health issues but it is reality I'm afraid.
do not name and shame people on here. there are only a couple of messages here for you to refer to. shaming others is against the guidelines here and is quite upsetting to read. if you haven’t anything to say positive about someone else’s reply then keep that to yourself, you’re causing upset. once you post you have no say in what or how people reply, which includes other replies like the one you just posted. no you cannot delete any replies unless they are your own. from your lack of advice and compassion seems to me you have a personal problem with another member who responded to this post. it’s the bulk of what you wrote in fact.
I confronted your post directly as it’s against guidelines to shame others, there’s no irony in that at all.
there’s a dubious distinction in you saying I presented a compassionate argument regarding your reply and going on to say it was an effort to shame you.
thanks for the suggestion, I do not know you and do not want to be tagged as harassing you off the board, HU doesn’t monitor private chats. out in the forum is the best place to address issues like this where everyone can witness what’s being said.
Hypercat is right. In the us a child is considered an adult at 18. Unless they are in college, they are expected to get a job and support themselves. My kids started working while they were in high school at 15. They wanted to so they had their own money. Now that you are an adult and have finished college, your father needs to focus on raising the younger children. If you can’t find a job in your field you will need to take any job until one in your field becomes available. You can do this. If you show your dad you are trying, Im sure he will be there to give you guidance. To a parent all children are equal. One is no more important than the next because of chronological order, or any other distinction. He’s not trying to be mean to you, he’s trying to guide you into adulthood.
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